When Grief Comes Crashing Back

Last week, I lost consciousness while traveling. One minute I was walking down a street and the next I was waking up on the sidewalk with lots of concerned looks from strangers and bleeding from my head. I ended up with three stitches, a pounding head, and a fresh concussion (shoutout to the NHS for their awesome care). But what hurt more than anything physical was the emotional aftershock that followed.

Grief doesn’t knock politely. Sometimes, it barrels back in just as unexpectedly as the moment we first lost the ones we love. Lying in that emergency room, confused and bruised, all I could feel was the loneliness. The ache of not having my husband by my side. The haunting reminder that he’s not here to catch me when I fall—literally or emotionally. Angry all over again because if he was with me, he would have snacks and water at the ready and I probably would have never been injured. It’s been over three years since he passed, and yet this one moment dragged me right back to the early days of loss.

I had always wondered what it would be like in that near-death moment—would I see a white light? Would he be there, waiting? But there was no light. Just pain. And a deep, aching anger that I was still here, and he wasn’t.

This experience reminded me that grief is not linear. Trauma—physical or emotional—can reopen wounds we thought had scarred over. It reminded me how deeply intertwined loss is with every part of life. And it reinforced how vital it is to prepare, to process, to talk, and to support each other before and after loss.

If you’ve ever felt knocked down by grief, whether it's a day, a year, or a decade later, know this: You are not alone. And if someone in your world is navigating loss, even quietly, check in on them. Sometimes the deepest hurts aren’t visible.

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